Ah, dating; it is the daunting task that so many of us face at one point or another in our lives. The prospect of dating alone can be frightening and overwhelming, yet exciting and filled with possibilities, all at the same time. However, we must set-up a date before we can even conceive of these emotions. And, for many people, finding someone to date can be the most difficult element of it all. In today’s world of technological wonders, it is easier than ever to find a date.
For those of us who are not intimidated by the technology of today, there are a plethora of websites dedicated to connecting us with the companion of our dreams. Although we should use common sense and take caution anytime we communicate online, there are a number of reputable websites that we can access. Most impressively, many of these sites use questionnaires and interest inventories to match us with other individuals with similar traits. Although there are still some who attach stigma to the utilization of such websites, they are invaluable resources where we have an opportunity to discover the person of our dreams, which we otherwise may have never met.
Another cyber-based means of finding an appropriate date is to utilize one or more of the social networking websites. Although these sites are not dedicated to matching us with our fantasy date, they can serve as an excellent place to meet new people, one of which we may find to be “the one”. These sites allow us the opportunity to build a website where we can fully disclose who we are as individuals, what we enjoy and what we detest, as well as outline the values and morals that are most important to us. And, the biggest benefit here is that we can exclude identifying information that may allow undesirable individuals from becoming potential stalkers.
By using these web-based resources, we expand our pool of potential suitors into an ocean of probable mates. Even though we may reject several of the individuals we find by using these websites, we can still build friendships with them. These friendships then enlarge our social base, which can also lead us to discovering the perfect partner. By putting ourselves out there in the cyber world, we are exposing ourselves to the entire world and can do so in a safe, secure approach.
Dating
First Date Activities that Should Always be Avoided
Dating can be very exciting for the individuals that have not found the right person and settled down just yet. But, many people become very concerned about the first date. This date really does lay the groundwork and it will definitely help determine if any other dates will take place in the future. Let’s face it, if the first date is poor, the person will not want to date you again. So, there are a few things that individuals will want to avoid when it comes to the first date. The rest of this article will explain some of these things.
Number one relates to your family. Individuals that are on their first date should not take the person to meet their family. This can be very intimidating. It can also cause the other person to believe that you are moving at a really fast pace. Meeting the family should be something that is done once you have been on several dates and you are being to make things more serious. It may even be a good idea to discuss where the relationship is, or where it is going, before introducing each other to family members.
Another bad first date idea would be the classical dinner and a movie. Many people really think that this is a great idea but it is not. It is very difficult to get to know one another when you are sitting in a movie. It is also very uncomfortable eating in front of someone that you do not know. Shorter first dates are also better a lot of times. Therefore, it might be much better to go to a coffee shop, or somewhere for appetizers, or dessert rather than dinner and a movie. This will give both individuals an opportunity to talk to one another and to determine if they would like to go out again.
Many people will go out on double dates when they are going out for the first time. This is actually not recommended either. It can be very uncomfortable for the other person when they are stuck in a group with people that they do not know very well. You might have a really good time if it is your friend. But, your date will not be very comfortable and they may have a very hard time adjusting to the way that you interact with one another. Inside jokes may also make it difficult for you and your date to communicate with each other.
As you can see, there are a lot of things that are considered deal breakers when it comes to the first date. The sad part is that many of these things are often the main things that individuals do when they are planning their first date. So, it is very important to make sure that the date will provide an opportunity for individuals to talk and get to know one another in a very controlled manner. Also, remember to keep the first date much shorter than the dates that will follow as well.
Swimming With All Those Fish In The Sea
Those of us who are married often reminisce about the early days of our relationships and think of how magical and romantic those times were. Dating, however, can be a frightening and intimidating time for those who are actually involved in it now. It is especially scary for individuals who have been out of the dating scene for a while. They often try to please their date, rather than showing who they really are. They sometimes spend hours “reinventing” their appearance, rather than presenting their true self. Such tactics only work against the ultimate goal of dating and place us right back out there to search for “the one” again. You must look at a date as an opportunity and spend the time wisely in order to achieve success.
If you are planning the date, think about activities that provide the chance to express yourself and show what you find interesting and fun. There is nothing wrong with giving-up the old standard dinner and a movie to go rock climbing or visit the opening of a new art gallery. Consider activities that are stimulating for conversation and provide the time to do so. Whatever you choose, though, be sure to discuss the choice with your date prior to picking them up.
On the other hand, if you are not planning the outing, it is absolutely necessary to know what type of date you will be going on. Answering the door in your gorgeous new evening gown, only to find your date in jeans, can ruin anyone’s night out. As such, it is essential to discuss the date agenda prior to preparing to go out. Also, it is important to be open-minded and adventurous. Even if you have never been exposed to something that is planned, don’t deny your date the opportunity to introduce you to it. This alone can afford both of you with an amazing, bonding experience.
During a date, it is important to encourage discussion. However, even in the case of a soft-spoken person, be certain not to dominate the conversation. By asking open-ended questions and practicing reflective listening, you can stimulate an amazing flow of chatter. It is essential that you give and receive “the basics” of personality, interests and values during your first few dates, without being too probing. This can help you avoid spending months with someone before finding-out that your morals or beliefs are in complete opposition.
These are simple, yet integral, steps in dating successfully. There is immense value in expressing your personality and standards of living early-on in order to feel comfortable giving effort to the relationship. Thinking outside of the box to create a date atmosphere that provides the opportunity for communication and self-expression is imperative. Put simply, one day, these dates will be the foundation for a marriage and you want to be able to look back on them as wonderful experiences that served to bring you and your partner together in body, mind and spirit.
First Date Activities that Should Always be Avoided
With the invention of the internet dating is becoming easier for individuals that are looking for someone to spend their time with. But, just because it is easier does not mean that it is any safer. Actually, it might be very unsafe for people that do not have a few simple tips to dating safely. This article will explore a few of the things that should be done in order to ensure that you are safe when you go on those first few dates. These tips can be used for individuals that meet at the office, as well as those individuals that meet online.
One of the major things to consider is where you meet. This should always be a neutral location. It should also be a location that has a lot of lighting and it should be in a public location. First dates should not take place at the person’s home and the individuals should not meet on a deserted road in order to “ride together” to their destination. These things are not safe and should be avoided.
Another tip is to really think about what you want to tell the person during your first date. If you have never really spoken to the individual before then you will want to make sure that you are not telling him, or her, personal information about yourself. You do not want the person to know exactly where you live, or how much money you make. While it may be tempting to tell this person everything, you will want to avoid a lot of personal information, no matter how nice the person may seem to be. Besides, you want to save some information for the next few dates.
Wait before you leave the date. This may sound odd, but hear me out. You want to let your date get on their way before you leave the location. You do not want him, or her, to be able to follow you back to your home. This might be a really good idea if your date was not that enjoyable, or the person made you feel uncomfortable. Maybe you can let the person know that you have to use the restroom before you leave, or that you need to wait on another friend to meet you. Do whatever you need to do in order to let the other person leave so that you can have a safe trip home.
Many of these things may sound like common sense. However, many individuals do not do them. That is when things can become very dangerous. Now, not every person you meet is going to be bad. But, when you do not know, it is always best to play it safe.
Is Joining A Dating Website Right For You?
Let’s face it, navigating the dating world can be an incredibly bumpy journey filled with more turbulence than smooth sailing. While meeting a person online is not a new concept, the online dating world does seem to be growing in popularity amongst all age groups. If you are tired of blind-dates courtesy of your mother’s best friend, or you are simply tired of spending your time sitting in bars listening to bad pickup lines then you may be considering joining a dating website to help you meet a new range of people!
To help you make your decision about whether or not to join an online dating website, let’s review a few pros and cons to the process!
Pros To A Dating Website
More Serious Relationship Options
The odds are good that the singles who have posted profiles and pictures on online dating websites are actually looking for long-term relationship instead of a brief fling.
The Anonymous Factor
The ability to anonymously browse profiles and opt to respond to or ignore communications with interested matches can be incredibly empowering. Doing things anonymously, with your privacy protected, can provide you with the ability to be somewhat more selective in the people you choose to communicate with.
Reduce The Shyness
With the anonymous factor comes the reduction of a large portion of social awkwardness that many of us feel in the dating world. By removing the face-to-face rejection that we would otherwise face in a real-life dating situation, we are able to more confidently approach potential matches. After all, no one can see you blush from behind their computer screen!
Inner Beauty Comes First
Without the distraction of physical attraction, online daters are equipped with the opportunity to get to know and understand their matches on a much more deeper level. This establishment of a friendship first can help further on down the line should the relationship turn serious.
Broaden your dating horizons
Online dating will help you to broaden your dating horizons by introducing you to potential matches who live outside of your small town or simply run in a different social circle than you do. Your perfect match might not be something who you would ordinarily associate with!
Cons To A Dating Website
Not Everyone Is Single
Unfortunately online dating websites are full of people who are in fact still married or in the process of going through a divorce. When communicating with new people you should be aware of any potential red flags that could be signaling a still-married person!
Uneven Gender Numbers
Several online dating websites have a significantly higher number of men versus women, and visa versa. While this could definitely work to your advantage if the numbers are in your favour, it may also lead several people to provide untruths about themselves in order to boost the number of contacts that they receive.
Anonymous Is Not Always A Good Thing
Due, in large part, to the anonymity of the online dating work, many of the website’s members may provide dishonest information about themselves that may include information related to their physical appearance or even their employment status!
If you do make the decision to enter into the realms of online dating you should be certain that you utilize a fair amount of common sense in order to ensure that your experience is one that is as positive and successful as possible!
Five Dating Mistakes We ALL Make
It seems that so much emphasis is put on men and women alike to serial date in order to find that perfect partner, to settle down, marry, and have babies as soon as is possible! However, this line of thought can not only force you to lose focus on the actual person that you are dating, but it can oftentimes lead you astray when you find that things just aren’t exactly as you’d hoped that they would be. There are a few simple, but crucial, mistakes that we all make when embarking on the dating journey; by being aware of them you will not only be able to avoid making them, but you will be able to direct your focus to things that will work towards building a relationship.
The Ex Factor
Face it, we all do it! We all talk about our ex’s when we start dating someone new. Whether it is because they are still in our lives as a result of sharing children, or simply because we feel compelled to define and explain any gaps in our dating history – we all do it! The truth is that, unlike a job interview, you don’t need to fill in the gaps. You don’t need to explain why your previous relationship crumbled, sending you back to the dating trenches. Until your relationship with your new partner is one that is established, it is best to steer clear of most topics that concern your ex. Not only will your new love interest get the impression that you may still be hung up on your ex, but it is simply bad manners to keep making references to a prior relationship!
Over Thinking
By over-thinking and over-analyzing every little potentially negative detail related to your date, the places you go, the things they say or do, you are not only going to drive yourself closer to the edge of insanity, but you are not allowing yourself to focus on the things that make this person special! Sometimes an offered rose is just a kind sweet gesture, and sometimes a hug is just an affectionate hug – nothing more. On the flip side to that – sometimes your date may just actually be tired or have a headache! Do not allow yourself to fill in the blanks with negative issues that just are not there.
Future Vision
While, for most of us, the ultimate goal of entering into the dating realm is to find that one special person to settle down with, there is nothing that can scare someone away faster that bringing up kids, marriage, retirement plants, or even meeting your parents too soon! Take it slow, take it one date at a time – if things work out between you, there is plenty of time to discuss your future together.
Losing Yourself
One of the more damaging mistakes that you can make is to lose too much of yourself by making entirely too many sacrifices in the early stages of a relationship. You may find yourself ditching your friends at the last minute because your new love interest has decided they are free NOW. You may find yourself participating in activities that you just don’t enjoy, or even hanging around a different type of crowd you don’t generally approve of. It is important, not just for yourself, but for the stability of your potential relationship that you are true to yourself and your beliefs.
Ignoring The Red Flags
Be certain that you don’t overlook and make up excuses for any behaviors that you would otherwise label as red flags in others. Grabbing your arm too firmly while fussing with each other, sudden aggressive and hurtful words, or hiding his cell phone from you and answering text messages throughout the course of your dates. The sooner you address any potential red flags, the sooner you will know whether this one is worth sticking around for.