The decision to get a divorce is one of the most heart-wrenching and difficult choices a person will probably ever have to make in their life. It is a time that is often characterized by an enormous amount of stress and sadness. With these emotions also comes the fear of the unknown; an unparalleled point in life when we repeatedly ask ourselves where we will go from here. During such a tumultuous time, it is important to recognize the positives in our life and use this as an opportunity to strengthen the relationships that remain.
At such a difficult time, it is hard to be optimistic about our present, nonetheless about the future. However, we must force ourselves to look upon this as an opportunity in life, rather than a closed door. This is a time when we can take control in our lives and plan the direction we want to go. It seems common for us to have given-up a dream or desire in life and this is the time to regain what we sacrificed. We cannot be pulled down by a divorce. We must consider it a place to be reborn; our own personal renaissance.
For those who have children, this can compound the stress of the situation and add an immense amount of guilt. Again, though, we must “count our blessings” and help our children do the same. It is integral that we do not insult our spouse, nor can we allow ourselves to exclude them from processing the divorce with our children. As within our own lives, a divorce can present children an opportunity for personal growth.
This is also a chance for us to strengthen our current relationships, rekindle those of our past and build new ones. In addition, we can also involve our children in these socializing efforts. There are innumerable benefits to exercising our kinships and friendships, especially during trying times. The experiences and advice of others can be invaluable for both parents and children.
In addition to calling on the strength of our loved ones to help ourselves and our children through a divorce, the expertise of those holding and participating in support groups can be a wonderful resource. Associating with these individuals provides us, not just with support, but also with knowledge and insight. These groups can also serve as the starting point for life-long friendships built upon a common bond.
In the trying times of divorce, we do have to accept the loss of our marriage; a relationship that is, no doubt, one of the most significant in an individual’s life. However, we must focus our attention on our children and the other relationships that are important to us. We must utilize this as an opportunity to see things from an optimistic perspective and start anew, cherishing those people who still exist in our lives and constructing fresh relationships to take on this journey with us.
