Each morning, millions of us arrive at our workplace. We greet our co-workers, well most of them, and engage in some friendly chatter prior to getting down to business. So, what about those co-workers we do not talk to and really don’t like, but have to work alongside? Many of us struggle with this issue. It can be quite a task to work with someone we aren’t particularly fond of, but we have to do it. We have to remain professional at all times in order to keep our jobs and perform our assigned duties. There are a variety of strategies we can employ to deal with each and every fellow office personality, whether they are friend or foe.
Take the annoying co-worker, for example. This is the person that never stays on task, makes off-handed remarks or is simply a nuisance. When working in a team-oriented environment with such an individual, it is important to arrive prepared. By having an agenda, a list of goals and each person’s expected contributions; we can keep our co-workers focused. Also, we should utilize professional and relevant communication throughout the meeting. This will set an example and dispel tendencies to get off-topic or distract the team from their goals.
What about those pompous, mean-spirited co-workers? These individuals test our patience and our ability to bite our tongue by putting others down. This is where we can utilize our reflection and reframing communication skills. Whenever such an individual makes a remark to insult us, we can simply reflect the statement back to them in a positive way. In doing this, we do not reinforce their behavior by reacting with anger, as they obviously want us to do. Instead, we find a positive in their negativity and send a message that we will not be affronted.
Finally, how do we deal with the lazy co-worker? This is the man or woman in the office who, somehow, always gets away with doing nothing. They slow the progress of everyone else and make each day more difficult. The best way to put a stop to this behavior is to designate agreed-upon responsibilities for every team member. These responsibilities must be documented and provided to each member of the team in writing. The act of assigning tasks as a team makes every individual accountable, as they have they opportunity to be involved in choosing what their contributions will be. As a result, if our lazy co-worker remains lazy, it will be simple to ensure that they are held responsible for their negligence.
These are just a few tips for coping with those co-workers we’d rather not work with. These strategies can be just as handy for dealing with others in the office, as well. They promote a positive and cooperative work environment, as well as professionalism and active communication. It may take time to adjust to utilizing some of these skills, but once you achieve fluency, it will certainly pay-off!
Leading your team to success
You have been chosen as a team leader on a major project at work. What do you do? Run screaming from the building? Cower in a corner? Try to pawn your role off on a co-worker? No. You should get excited! In being chosen to lead the team, you are viewed as reliable and responsible. You should be flattered and prepared to take on the challenge. It does not have to be that much of a challenge, though. Through the utilization of three simple communication skills, you can motivate your team to success.
First, it is extremely important to use open-ended questions when discussing the project with your team. This type of communication will serve the entire team well from the beginning stages of defining your plan of attack, through the final stages of project completion. You, as a leader, can pose open-ended questions to open the lines of communication between the team members, as well as to promote a free flow of ideas. You will certainly garner more information through the utilization of this communication skill, which makes every team member feel a sense of responsibility for the project as a whole.
Also, a team leader should make use of affirmations in order to create a positive, cohesive team environment. Some members of your team will contribute more than others and it is your responsibility to encourage everyone to give input. When a team leader affirms the ideas of a less vocal member of the team, it will show everyone that what they have to say is valuable. Similarly, by affirming those who frequently share their opinions, you will provide them with motivation to continue giving to the project.
Finally, it is extremely vital to use the restating communication skill. By reframing or restating the ideas of the team, you are verifying the information with the contributor. Additionally, restating can serve to clarify the information for the entire team. When a team leader utilizes restatement, it also serves to motivate all those present. This skill tells the team to continue giving their thoughts and ideas to the project, as it is a display of your attention and interest in what they have to say.
So, the next time your boss announces that you are going to lead a team on an important project; you can feel confident in your ability. As a leader, it is your responsibility to promote a team venue conducive to communication and cooperation in order to achieve success. By utilizing open-ended questions, affirmations and restating, you are doing this, as well as creating a work environment that is encouraging and motivating for all.
Money management 101
Financial stressors are one of the most debilitating problems we can experience and can be just as traumatic to those around us. The constant worry associated with money shortages can wreak havoc on our lives, causing enormous strain, unbearable anxiety and even result in serious bouts of depression. All of the negative characteristics associated with financial irresponsibility not only affect us, but they affect our family, our friends, our careers and our hobbies. Before making any decisions about taking on new debt, we must be aware of our current obligations and make conscious efforts to avoid the plague of insurmountable financial liability.
Responsible money management can be summed-up in one statement: we cannot even attempt to live beyond our means. Before taking on any new expenses, we should analyze our current expenses and accurately calculate our debt to income ratio. This, coupled with budgetary planning, can provide us with a clear picture of our financial situation. This budgetary planning, though, must also include consideration of unexpected occurrences, such the need for a water heater replacement or expensive medical testing. Through the completion of these simple steps, we can make an informed and intelligent decision about whether we should take on a new loan or expense.
We do not wish to become people whose money manages us, rather then us managing our money. As such, appropriate strategies for saving money must also be implemented. In this area, we do not have to suffer as a result of saving. Even though many of us plan our retirement through large deposits in risky investments, this is not necessary, nor is it practical for building an emergency savings account. Rather, we can make a small deposit weekly or monthly in higher yield accounts. Certificates of Deposit are safe investments, which can be purchased in a variety of denominations, and are especially convenient for being accessible in the case of a financial emergency.
These tactics may appear overwhelming, but we must keep in mind that building a secure financial plan is a process rather than an event. It is important to prepare a thorough and detailed plan, with family input, in order to avoid being overwhelmed by the initiation of our money management strategies. Delegating responsibility to others and relying on the support of our family are also integral components of this arrangement.
In taking these simple steps, we can ensure that we are prepared for major financial events in our lives. This will help us to avoid the pitfalls of irresponsible spending and flagrant ignorance of our money situation. In the end, we will certainly be thankful for the effort we put forth, as we can lead happier and healthier lives without the stressors associated with living under a mountain of debt.
The family budget
In today’s world, it is more important than ever to conserve our resources. This is especially true when it comes to money. In order to provide for your family properly, you must plan your spending and budget appropriately. However, you cannot simply sit down on your own and complete the entire budget for the family. You should involve your family members to some extent in order to help them understand financial planning, as well as to get everyone’s cooperation in following the budget.
The extent to which you will involve your family members is dependent upon their age. If your children are very young, it may be best to involve them in only a few areas of budget creation. Planning what can be spent on entertainment and groceries is a great area to involve young children. You can utilize both the budgeting process, as well as the spending process, as learning experiences for the younger children. For older children, it is important to teach them about other expenses. By involving them in the process of planning for utility payments, they are learning valuable lessons about the costs of living and are more likely to be frugal with their own money.
If you prefer to keep your income between the adults in the home only, this does not create a problem. You can easily figure your income separately from the actual budget and still involve the children. When figuring your income, it is important to take into account all sources of income for complete accuracy. Once this is done, computing the total deductions comes next. Many individuals find this difficult due to the wide variance in their monthly spending in the past. However, a budget can help you identify and eliminate this, sometimes wasteful, miscellaneous spending. Simply begin with your regular monthly bills, followed by categories for other expenses. Include all necessities, such as groceries, clothing, transportation and toiletries. Then, include miscellaneous and a savings categories.
It is important to record actual expenses in order to have a functional budget. This includes what those miscellaneous expenses were and whether they are necessary. Within a few months, you will have a working budget that meets your needs, as well as those of your family, and eliminates needless purchases. This will provide a sense of security in your financial well-being, while also being an excellent teaching tool for your children.
Where’s the spark?
Those of us who find ourselves in lengthy relationships also tend to find ourselves in somewhat of a “rut”. We forget the times when we could not wait to see our partner, relished those little things like walks in the park and found joy in just looking into one another’s eyes. It is these seemingly menial things that led us to where we are today, but we too often neglect to keep such things alive in our relationship.
It is important to recognize the small things that keep our interest, and our love, focused on our partner. If we lose sight of these minute, yet meaningful, aspects of our relationship, we may find ourselves separated further than ever before. Keeping the spark in our relationships is not a science, but a matter of listening to our hearts. There are quite a few tactics for maintaining that fiery passion, but a few of these are essential to a happy, healthy bond.
It’s no secret that people change over time, no matter how self-aware and secure they may be. So, it is our job as life partners to be attuned to the transformations our partners are going through. It is also our job as spouses to notice when our partner’s attitude or behavior changes. This is a time when we must talk to our partner about what brought-about the difference. We should maintain on-going communication and give one another opportunities to talk about the things that are going on in our lives. Talking is invaluable to a relationship, whether it is a serious discussion or seemingly meaningless chatter.
Another important element in maintaining relationship stability is setting-aside time to be together. With the hectic lives we all live, between our jobs, our children and community activities, we sometimes neglect one another. We must schedule a time, at least once a week, to spend solely as a couple. It is important to make this “alone time” for ourselves, without the distractions of our children or other family members. Whether it is a meal or a movie, it needs to be a period of togetherness.
Taking this one-on-one time another step further, it is also integral that couples make it a priority to “get away from it all” every once in a while. At least yearly, partners need to leave the stress of the bills, soccer practices and the PTA behind for a little get-away. It does not have to be a spectacular vacation in order to be a valuable experience. A weekend camping trip or one night at a bed and breakfast can work wonders for a relationship.
In order to avoid stagnancy in a relationship, we must recall the things that brought us together in the past. Remembering how much it meant to our partner the time we set-up a picnic lunch and recreating that day can bring back the passion of days gone by. Being in-tune with one another, communicating and working together to keep the love as fresh as the day we came together is an exceptional thing, yet not difficult.
My teenager is an alien
We all know that the teenage years are difficult for both child and parent. Teens are going through a period when they are changing emotionally, mentally and physically, along with facing new stressors and leaving behind some of the carefree living of childhood. Parents find difficulty communicating with their teenager, instituting regular family activities and keeping their child engaged with the family unit. The key to surviving these days, when you find your teen to be more of an alien than the child you gave life to, is finding a common ground and utilizing it as basis for congenial living.
It is important to recognize that our teenagers are no longer children; they are young adults. In a few short years, they may be leaving our home to go off to college and living on their own. As such, it is our responsibility as parents to facilitate their growth into adulthood. Teenagers often complain that their parents are treating them like children, so this is our golden opportunity to afford them some adult responsibilities.
At this point, we should set down with our teen and really listen to their thoughts and feelings. Taking note of what they say, restating their concerns and responding with our own interpretation of reality gives both parties a sense of being heard and understood. Discussing such things requires us, the parents, to exercise active listening skills by asking open-ended questions, using affirmations and restating our child’s words. In doing such things, we are telling our teen that we hear and appreciate what they are saying.
This is also an appropriate time to explain what we expect from our teen. This is certainly a touchy subject that must be approached in a non-confrontational manner. Speaking to our teens about taking responsibility for household chores, buying some of their own clothing or paying for car insurance can go a long way toward preparing our teen for independence. Framing the discussion in a manner that emphasizes their impending adulthood can be of great benefit in getting our teens to buy-in on performing new duties.
Most importantly, though, discussing how much it means to remain a part of the family is integral. Even though teens seem to shy away from such “mushy” subjects, parents can emphasize the importance of the teen’s role as a member of the family, which does not end the moment they turn 18. Scheduling events of interest to our teen is an excellent tactic for getting them to appear for quality family time. Generally, movie nights and shopping trips serve as great motivation for our teen to be excited about participating. Also, having regular meals together is a wonderful way for all family members to catch-up and will enhance the family bond.
In order to maintain a good relationship with our teens and keep them from becoming aliens to us, we must emphasize the importance of family togetherness. Engaging them and giving them the opportunity to find intrinsic value in the family activities can aid in maintaining their interest. Most of all, though, we the parents must take the role of guidance counselor in our child’s journey into adulthood.