Ah, dating; it is the daunting task that so many of us face at one point or another in our lives. The prospect of dating alone can be frightening and overwhelming, yet exciting and filled with possibilities, all at the same time. However, we must set-up a date before we can even conceive of these emotions. And, for many people, finding someone to date can be the most difficult element of it all. In today’s world of technological wonders, it is easier than ever to find a date.
For those of us who are not intimidated by the technology of today, there are a plethora of websites dedicated to connecting us with the companion of our dreams. Although we should use common sense and take caution anytime we communicate online, there are a number of reputable websites that we can access. Most impressively, many of these sites use questionnaires and interest inventories to match us with other individuals with similar traits. Although there are still some who attach stigma to the utilization of such websites, they are invaluable resources where we have an opportunity to discover the person of our dreams, which we otherwise may have never met.
Another cyber-based means of finding an appropriate date is to utilize one or more of the social networking websites. Although these sites are not dedicated to matching us with our fantasy date, they can serve as an excellent place to meet new people, one of which we may find to be “the one”. These sites allow us the opportunity to build a website where we can fully disclose who we are as individuals, what we enjoy and what we detest, as well as outline the values and morals that are most important to us. And, the biggest benefit here is that we can exclude identifying information that may allow undesirable individuals from becoming potential stalkers.
By using these web-based resources, we expand our pool of potential suitors into an ocean of probable mates. Even though we may reject several of the individuals we find by using these websites, we can still build friendships with them. These friendships then enlarge our social base, which can also lead us to discovering the perfect partner. By putting ourselves out there in the cyber world, we are exposing ourselves to the entire world and can do so in a safe, secure approach.
Common dating
Time and time again, it has been said that common interests are some of the most important things in a relationship. Married couples often talk about the activities that brought them together, which are the same activities that help to keep their relationships strong. In the world of dating, these similarities can serve as the foundation for a friendship, which can certainly lead to a romantic relationship. We can utilize this knowledge as a strategy for finding an appropriate date, who has the potential to be our perfect mate.
First of all, we should sit down and make a list of our hobbies, interests and things we find most intriguing. In doing this, we should consider our beliefs and values and how these can also be communicated through our activities. For example, by volunteering at the church clothing drive, we send the message that we enjoy humanitarian activities and that our church and religion are significant to us. It is certainly important for us to be able to give a potential date this information up front in order to avoid “dead end dating”.
Next, we can translate this list into locations and events where others with these same interests may be present. We can take more initiative to attend the art gallery opening of its newest collections, become a member of a local bowling league or take the time to volunteer at the neighborhood soup kitchen. It is necessary for us to be involved in such social activities in order to meet new people. Once there, it is only a matter of mingling, building new friendships and making conversation with those we find intriguing.
This idea is comparable to that of many dating websites, which utilize interest inventories and values surveys. These websites take our collective responses to these questionnaires and match us with someone who answered similarly. Many of these websites have cost associated with their use, but they can be a valuable resource in times when our socializing efforts have failed. It is important to recognize that we can meet people we would have never otherwise met through the use of these dating sites.
In the dating world, it is integral that we take the time to consider our interests and values prior to seeking a potential partner. These techniques save us a lot of time and heartache, as they keep us from dating someone that lacks common interests with us. We can also open up to the idea of dating websites, recognizing their potential and putting the stigma of times past aside. In doing these things, we can be well on our way to discovering our perfect mate.
Dealing with unexpected death
Facebook Fanpage Question: “A good mate of mine’s Dad passed away Friday night unexpectedly. What do you feel is the right thing for his family to do to overcome these events? And as a friend what would you recommend would be best and also what positive can come of this event?
Bruce Sullivan from redhotrelationships.com answers this difficult question.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: RSS
Giving time for our family
We all live hectic, busy lives between our jobs, our homes and our hobbies. We seem to give all of our time to these tasks, often wishing there were more hours in the day. We all know that isn’t possible, so we must make our family a priority in our daily schedule regardless of the other duties in our lives. There are a number of simple strategies we can use to do this without sacrificing the chores we are obligated to complete.
First and foremost, we need to establish a schedule in our household. We must set regular meal times, during which we can gather with our family to prepare and eat the food. This gives everyone in the family a time to share about their day and build close, strong relationships. We also need to define periods of one-on-one time between each parent and each child, as well as between children.
These time periods can be utilized for everything from homework and studying to grocery shopping and running errands. No matter what the activity, the important thing is that we are spending quality time with one another.
Next, we need to involve our family members in as many of our extracurricular activities as possible. This is as important for parents as for the children, in that it provides a sense of unity and support for all. For example, if we spend time volunteering at our local homeless shelter, we should bring our family along to help out. Similarly, if our child is actively involved in sports, our entire family should be present to cheer them on. Just think, if the activity is important enough for us to give our time to, then it should also be just as important to everyone in the family.
Finally, we need to set limits on the time we spend outside the home, even at work. This is especially true when putting-in extra hours is not a necessity for keeping our job or for financial reasons. We must recognize the inherent value of being present for our family, even if we are simply at home to prepare our children a snack when they arrive home from school. Studies show that a parent’s presence in home, in and of itself, provides children with a sense of security and stability within their living environment.
We all must, obviously, maintain employment in order to provide for family. In addition, it is also important for each member of the family to have their share of private time. However, making ourselves available to our family by involving them in our outside activities, scheduling time with them and making our time at home a priority, will have a positive impact on our relationships for years to come.
Siblings: They can get along
Nothing is more frustrating than dealing with incessant bickering and arguing between our children. For those of us who grew-up with siblings, we remember those little things that turned into big fights. However, we later found that the relationships we have with our siblings are some of the most valuable in our lives. Now, as parents, we want our children to make this discovery sooner than we did. There are tactics to help this process along, although we must keep in mind that it is a process.
First of all, we should encourage our children to work together on projects and chores, which serve as team-building experiences. However, providing specific instruction for the tasks is integral to avoiding those bouts of argumentation. Additionally, offering a reward for proper, and congenial, completion of the task will also be very beneficial. With regular team-oriented assignments, your children can learn the advantages of working with their siblings, rather than against them.
Leading by example is also an important part of getting our children to come together peacefully. As parents, we must demonstrate appropriate communication skills, problem-solving techniques and conflict resolution with our own siblings, as well as all of those with whom we have contact. A number of studies have shown that children learn much more than we realize from role modeling, so it is our responsibility to lead as we wish our children to follow.
It is also important to stress the value of family connectedness to our children. This can be achieved in a number of ways, but the most impact seems to come from just talking. In flipping through old photos, we can talk to our children about the important lessons we learned from our grandmother and the unparalleled emotional support provided by our sister. Such “small talk” can leave a big impression on our children. In fact, children are often known to repeat the words of their parents five, ten, even twenty, years after they were first spoken.
So, our children can get along, as long as we take an active role in helping them to do so. This assistance should come through positive reinforcement and modeling, rather then lecturing and punishment. Once they recognize how important sibling harmony is to us, they are much more likely to fulfill our wishes.
Nothing is more frustrating than dealing with incessant bickering and arguing between our children. For those of us who grew-up with siblings, we remember those little things that turned into big fights. However, we later found that the relationships we have with our siblings are some of the most valuable in our lives. Now, as parents, we want our children to make this discovery sooner than we did. There are tactics to help this process along, although we must keep in mind that it is a process.
First of all, we should encourage our children to work together on projects and chores, which serve as team-building experiences. However, providing specific instruction for the tasks is integral to avoiding those bouts of argumentation. Additionally, offering a reward for proper, and congenial, completion of the task will also be very beneficial. With regular team-oriented assignments, your children can learn the advantages of working with their siblings, rather than against them.
Leading by example is also an important part of getting our children to come together peacefully. As parents, we must demonstrate appropriate communication skills, problem-solving techniques and conflict resolution with our own siblings, as well as all of those with whom we have contact. A number of studies have shown that children learn much more than we realize from role modeling, so it is our responsibility to lead as we wish our children to follow.
It is also important to stress the value of family connectedness to our children. This can be achieved in a number of ways, but the most impact seems to come from just talking. In flipping through old photos, we can talk to our children about the important lessons we learned from our grandmother and the unparalleled emotional support provided by our sister. Such “small talk” can leave a big impression on our children. In fact, children are often known to repeat the words of their parents five, ten, even twenty, years after they were first spoken.
So, our children can get along, as long as we take an active role in helping them to do so. This assistance should come through positive reinforcement and modeling, rather then lecturing and punishment. Once they recognize how important sibling harmony is to us, they are much more likely to fulfill our wishes.
How to best deal with change
Many of us have gone through quite rapid change – particularly recently with the hit of the global financial crisis. So how do we tackle change in our daily lives? Do we run from it or welcome it?
Bruce Sullivan from redhotrelationships.com gives us some great tips
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: RSS