The decision to end your marriage, and potentially all forms of relationship with your spouse, is a decision that should not be taken lightly. While there are certainly several good reasons to choose to immediately end your relationship with your spouse, there are just as many good reasons to take the time to evaluate if ending the relationship is in the best interest of all parties involved.
Finances
While yours may not be a happy marriage, it may be one that offers strong financial security. Remaining in an unhappy marriage purely for financial reasons is never a good idea; however, before you rashly apply for a divorce, you should take the time to ensure that you can take care of yourself financially based solely on your own income. If you find that both you and your spouse will struggle when trying to stand on your own financial feet, then you should give great consideration to discussing all of your concerns with your spouse – in a truthful and understanding manner. Perhaps it makes more sense for each of you to work on the goal of being able to support yourselves; once you are each able to take care of your financial needs then you should consider taking the final steps towards legal divorce.
Children
Keeping the marriage intact strictly for your children is not necessarily in the best interests of your children. If there is a high level of stress and conflict within your marriage, then you can be sure that your children have already picked up on this. The things that you should consider, when thinking about your children, is if they may possibly be better served by having two parents who are much happier in their lives – even if they live apart from one another. While it is the rare child who encourages their parents to get divorced, all children can greatly benefit from not having to bear witness to the stress and conflict between their parents.
What Are Your Reasons
-Are you tired of repeating the same disagreements with your spouse?
-Are the financial issues just too much to deal with?
-Does your spouse refuse to tell you how they feel?
If your reasons for wanting a divorce can be attributed to several factors that have the potential to be repaired by counseling or increased communication between the two of you, then you should give serious and careful consideration to trying to make your marriage a success before you terminate it. Many a marriage can be saved simply by applying the basic rules of communication and compromise.
-Has there been an infidelity on either side?
-Is abuse a deciding factor?
If your reasons for wanting a divorce are simply not factors that can be ignored or remedied, then you should certainly take the steps that will ultimately lead you to a safer and more stable life without your spouse.
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Saying “Yes”
You are sitting at a lovely Italian restaurant with your boyfriend, enjoying the most delectable lasagna you have ever tasted. Between bites and sips of red wine, your conversation flows smoothly as you share the details of your work day and the tasks you undertook. The bus boy clears your dinner plates, and as you wait for dessert to arrive, a twinkle appears in the eye of your beau. He places his hand inside his handsome suit jacket and positions himself on one knee alongside your seat. The words “Will you marry me?” pass between his rosy lips as he snaps open a velvet box with the ring of your dreams waiting inside.
This perfect moment, or some variation of it, has occurred in the lives of an immense number of women. And, more often than not, the answer is “yes”. But, how many of those women are prepared for the proposal and are truly committed to a lifelong journey with the man on bended knee? Statistics paint a grim answer: less than half. So, how do you know if you are ready to get married?
Obviously, there is no magical formula we can use to determine whether we should allow that ring to be placed on our finger, but there is a common sense approach to deciding whether we should take a relationship to the next level. It is certainly not a decision to be made at the moment a sparkling diamond is displayed in front of us. It is a process we should use to assess whether a relationship is worth staying in at all and it should be on-going. In doing this, we can say “Yes!” with our whole heart and fulfill our promise of an everlasting commitment.
Regardless of whether we have been in a relationship for one week or five years, if our goal is to eventually marry, it is important to really consider how satisfied we are regularly. Of course, every couple will have their arguments, disagreements and differences of opinion, which are often resolved quickly and easily. Yes, following the old adage “never go to bed angry” is a good bit of relationship advice! However, when relationship problems begin affecting other aspects of our lives and diminishing our overall happiness, then we should really consider whether this is a healthy relationship worth continuing.
In order to be prepared for that fantastic moment of the surprise marriage proposal, it is necessary to look at the “pros” and the “cons” of the relationship anytime we feel unsure of where we are going as a couple. A truly strong relationship is built upon an unconditional love for one another, along with a type of uncensored honesty that creates an atmosphere of complete trust. In keeping the lines of communication open with our partner, all of these keys to romantic and relationship utopia will be fostered. If we recognize that any of these important characteristics are missing in our relationship, it is certainly a good time to analyze the relationship and discuss the value of maintaining it with our partner. If we know that our relationship encompasses these important principles, as well as the many others that strengthen it, then we are probably prepared for that romantic and magical moment of the marriage proposal.
Helping Your Child Cope With A Loss…
For a child, the loss of a beloved family member or even a beloved family pet can mean the start to the end of their naïve innocence that all things go on forever; as the guiding parent in their lives, it is your responsibility to help your child understand, cope, and move on from the loss in a healthy manner. By not doing so you are potentially opening your child up for a host of behavioral and emotional problems further on down the road.
What Do You Think
One of the most important things that you can ask your child when you are helping them to work through a loss is to ask them what their thoughts are on the topic. Whether they openly display it or not, most children are aware, on some level, of what it means to lose someone. By asking your child what he or she thinks about it you will be able to tailor your own words of comfort and wisdom to their already forming belief system.
Opening up the conversation by asking what your child thinks will also help to encourage your child to speak to you about any of their questions or the major fears that they may have. Keep your answers honest and encourage your child to ask more questions if they appear to be confused or further upset by your responses.
Don’t Bottle Things Up
Despite your drive to be the strong role model in your child’s life, you still have the need to grieve for the loss of someone who was close to you. Certainly you don’t want your children to have to fend for themselves because your grief has left you unable to leave your bed. What you do want is to have your children understand that it is okay to feel sad, you want them to understand that grieving for the loss of their loved one is a natural part of the process. If your child is allowed to grieve in a healthy manner, then he or she will be better equipped to move on and heal in a manner that is healthy.
Age Appropriate
Your child may not be old enough to fully comprehend the situation when there is a loss in the family; it is important that you make the effort to not bombard the child with information that they simply are not old enough to understand. Try to find the simplest and most effective answers to their questions in order to keep them age appropriate and on a level that won’t further confuse or upset the child.
Above all, when dealing with any situation of loss in a family, it is important that your whole family takes the time to comfort one another and ensure that every member of your family feels loved, comforted, and safe. Loss can be a very scary and very confusing topic for a child to deal with, your response as their parent will play a key role in the way in which they approach the healing and moving on process.
Is Your Relationship Moving Too Fast?
A wonderful new relationship can spark feelings of excitement, joy, and pure happiness; however, if you are already planning your wedding within six months of your first date then you may need to stop and take the time to evaluate whether or not your relationship is hurtling along too rapidly. Moving too fast or too slow in a relationship can open your relationship up for serious problems in the future.
Why Should We Slow Down?
In any romantic relationship it is important to make sure that your relationship is founded on a solid platform of friendship, honesty, and trust. While it is certainly possible to establish a sturdy long-lasting relationship within a few short months, it is generally a good rule of thumb to take your time to build your friendship and establish your honesty and trust levels with your partner.
On the flip side, if your relationship is moving too slow you run the risk of developing a relationship rut before you and your partner have had the opportunity to really get to know one another.
Time Apart Can Be Healthy
In the early stages of a relationship it can be all too tempting to spend as much time as possible with your partner. However, it can also be a major contributing factor towards the two of you losing sight of your individuality as well as distancing yourselves from your family and friends who may be concerned about you.
If thinking about spending time apart from your partner makes you feel uneasy then you should definitely take the time to consider if this is in fact a healthy relationship. A large part of being in a successful relationship is the ability to trust your partner during the times that you are apart, and to allow yourself to feel settled while apart from your partner.
Discussing The Future
A reliable method of gauging the pace of your relationship is to pay heed to the way that you and your partner discuss your future. Have you been dating for three months and are already living together? Are you discussing marriage and having children?
Rushing in to major life-changing events can prove to be disastrous, especially if you do plan on having children together.
Take the time to find out from each other what your individual plans for your futures are. How many of your partner’s plans intersect with your own?
- Do you want to travel to an exotic location before settling down, while your partner hates the idea of leaving your city?
- Do you plan on going back to school, while your partner thinks that you both need to simply find work so that you can save for a house and babies?
The Decision Making Process
Do you find yourself incapable of making a decision without involving the opinion of your partner? Or do you find your partner stepping in and making decisions regarding your future for you? The ability to stand up on your own two feet and make decisions for yourself as a mature adult, without the need to seek approval from your partner, is a vital part of being a healthy and well adjusted person. In a relationship that may be moving too fast you may find yourself losing more of your independence and your individuality until you ultimately no longer recognize yourself.
Slow things down, let your relationship develop at a steady and constant pace, don’t rush into making those life-changing decisions that could leave you and your partner shell shocked and overwhelmed if your relationship falls apart in the future.
Excel At Your Work
Getting ahead at work may be a really big priority for you. This might be something that you have been striving to accomplish for a really long time, but you were not sure what steps to take in order to get ahead. If that describes you then you will want to take a few moments and read this small article. You will find a few simple tips that you can follow in order to get ahead, and excel, at your work.
One of the main things that you need to do will be to make sure you are showing your boss that you are responsible and reliable. You do not want to miss work a lot if you want to get ahead. Just because you may feel rough on Monday morning does not mean that you need to be at home. If you do not have a fever, you are able to move, and you are not contagious, you need to be at work. You should never assume that others will take care of your job for you. Assume that you are the only one that can do your job and make sure that you are there to do it. This will help your employer know that you are responsible and reliable.
If you work in an office with several people, there will most likely be some office politics. There will also be a lot of arguing, and bickering back and forth, from time to time. This is definitely something that you will want to make sure that you are avoiding and staying out of. You should never feed into this behavior and you should not be the one that is starting it. This is one of the fastest things that you can do in order to ruin any chance of getting ahead. Remember what your job is and focus on that while you are at the office. After all, that is what you are paid to do.
Finally, take some time to evaluate your job. What can be done in order to improve your job? There may be some things that can be completed that would make your job more effective. There may be reports that could benefit the company that are not currently completed. It is not difficult to become stuck in the everyday routines. This means that we find ourselves continually doing the same tasks over and over again. While this is a good thing, there are other things that can be done as well.
Taking the time to reinvent the wheel may show your boss that you are thinking ahead and that you are trying to improve the company.
Effective Ways to Save Money
In today’s society it may seem really difficult to save money. Many individuals may be dealing with foreclosures and even bankruptcy. However, this can be avoided when people take the time to plan ahead and begin saving money on a more regular basis. Saving money may sound like a really difficult thing to do. But, when you are prepared, and you have a plan, it can be the best decision you ever made.
You will need to start by taking the time to look at all of your expenses. You need to know where your money is going if you are looking for a way to save it. This will help you identify what you may be able to stop spending money on. You may find out that there are a lot of changes that you can make in order to increase the amount of money you have to save. So, spend a few days gathering all of your bills. Write everything down. Document what you spend your money on each day. You may need to track this for a week, or two, but it will be well worth it in the end.
Next, you will need to create a budget. This can be a very frightening word for some people but it does not have to be. You simply need to realize that a budget is a way to get your spending in check. You can still purchase extra things, as long as you have it in your budget. This might mean that you will have to wait a little bit longer to get what you want, but you will appreciate it much more.
Third, budget your savings. When you do this you will have a plan. You need to make your saving a priority. This can be difficult at times because you may be tempted to spend your money on other things. But, if you set up accounts that automatically save for you, you will not have the opportunity to spend the money. For example, you can have money automatically deducted from your checking account and placed into your savings account each month. Many people worry about in the beginning. However, the longer you do it, and the more you budget for it, you will realize that you do not even miss the money. You adapt to not having it.
Open accounts, and savings plans that really benefit you. You may have your money sitting in an account that draws little, to no, interest. This is not the best way to save money. Try checking area banks and the different savings plans they may have. It might be a good idea to move your money into different accounts that will help you get a little extra in the end.
Hopefully, you are serious about saving money. Try each of these things for a few months and see what happens. You will be really glad that you did when you see the end result. Saving money is easy if you simply take the time to plan ahead.