Nothing is more frustrating than dealing with incessant bickering and arguing between our children. For those of us who grew-up with siblings, we remember those little things that turned into big fights. However, we later found that the relationships we have with our siblings are some of the most valuable in our lives. Now, as parents, we want our children to make this discovery sooner than we did. There are tactics to help this process along, although we must keep in mind that it is a process.
First of all, we should encourage our children to work together on projects and chores, which serve as team-building experiences. However, providing specific instruction for the tasks is integral to avoiding those bouts of argumentation. Additionally, offering a reward for proper, and congenial, completion of the task will also be very beneficial. With regular team-oriented assignments, your children can learn the advantages of working with their siblings, rather than against them.
Leading by example is also an important part of getting our children to come together peacefully. As parents, we must demonstrate appropriate communication skills, problem-solving techniques and conflict resolution with our own siblings, as well as all of those with whom we have contact. A number of studies have shown that children learn much more than we realize from role modeling, so it is our responsibility to lead as we wish our children to follow.
It is also important to stress the value of family connectedness to our children. This can be achieved in a number of ways, but the most impact seems to come from just talking. In flipping through old photos, we can talk to our children about the important lessons we learned from our grandmother and the unparalleled emotional support provided by our sister. Such “small talk” can leave a big impression on our children. In fact, children are often known to repeat the words of their parents five, ten, even twenty, years after they were first spoken.
So, our children can get along, as long as we take an active role in helping them to do so. This assistance should come through positive reinforcement and modeling, rather then lecturing and punishment. Once they recognize how important sibling harmony is to us, they are much more likely to fulfill our wishes.
Nothing is more frustrating than dealing with incessant bickering and arguing between our children. For those of us who grew-up with siblings, we remember those little things that turned into big fights. However, we later found that the relationships we have with our siblings are some of the most valuable in our lives. Now, as parents, we want our children to make this discovery sooner than we did. There are tactics to help this process along, although we must keep in mind that it is a process.
First of all, we should encourage our children to work together on projects and chores, which serve as team-building experiences. However, providing specific instruction for the tasks is integral to avoiding those bouts of argumentation. Additionally, offering a reward for proper, and congenial, completion of the task will also be very beneficial. With regular team-oriented assignments, your children can learn the advantages of working with their siblings, rather than against them.
Leading by example is also an important part of getting our children to come together peacefully. As parents, we must demonstrate appropriate communication skills, problem-solving techniques and conflict resolution with our own siblings, as well as all of those with whom we have contact. A number of studies have shown that children learn much more than we realize from role modeling, so it is our responsibility to lead as we wish our children to follow.
It is also important to stress the value of family connectedness to our children. This can be achieved in a number of ways, but the most impact seems to come from just talking. In flipping through old photos, we can talk to our children about the important lessons we learned from our grandmother and the unparalleled emotional support provided by our sister. Such “small talk” can leave a big impression on our children. In fact, children are often known to repeat the words of their parents five, ten, even twenty, years after they were first spoken.
So, our children can get along, as long as we take an active role in helping them to do so. This assistance should come through positive reinforcement and modeling, rather then lecturing and punishment. Once they recognize how important sibling harmony is to us, they are much more likely to fulfill our wishes.
