With the invention of the internet dating is becoming easier for individuals that are looking for someone to spend their time with. But, just because it is easier does not mean that it is any safer. Actually, it might be very unsafe for people that do not have a few simple tips to dating safely. This article will explore a few of the things that should be done in order to ensure that you are safe when you go on those first few dates. These tips can be used for individuals that meet at the office, as well as those individuals that meet online.
One of the major things to consider is where you meet. This should always be a neutral location. It should also be a location that has a lot of lighting and it should be in a public location. First dates should not take place at the person’s home and the individuals should not meet on a deserted road in order to “ride together” to their destination. These things are not safe and should be avoided.
Another tip is to really think about what you want to tell the person during your first date. If you have never really spoken to the individual before then you will want to make sure that you are not telling him, or her, personal information about yourself. You do not want the person to know exactly where you live, or how much money you make. While it may be tempting to tell this person everything, you will want to avoid a lot of personal information, no matter how nice the person may seem to be. Besides, you want to save some information for the next few dates.
Wait before you leave the date. This may sound odd, but hear me out. You want to let your date get on their way before you leave the location. You do not want him, or her, to be able to follow you back to your home. This might be a really good idea if your date was not that enjoyable, or the person made you feel uncomfortable. Maybe you can let the person know that you have to use the restroom before you leave, or that you need to wait on another friend to meet you. Do whatever you need to do in order to let the other person leave so that you can have a safe trip home.
Many of these things may sound like common sense. However, many individuals do not do them. That is when things can become very dangerous. Now, not every person you meet is going to be bad. But, when you do not know, it is always best to play it safe.
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The Christmas Assessment
As the deadline of Christmas is fast approaching, it’s easy to let exhaustion turn into cynicism.
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Our Own Personal Renaissance
The decision to get a divorce is one of the most heart-wrenching and difficult choices a person will probably ever have to make in their life. It is a time that is often characterized by an enormous amount of stress and sadness. With these emotions also comes the fear of the unknown; an unparalleled point in life when we repeatedly ask ourselves where we will go from here. During such a tumultuous time, it is important to recognize the positives in our life and use this as an opportunity to strengthen the relationships that remain.
At such a difficult time, it is hard to be optimistic about our present, nonetheless about the future. However, we must force ourselves to look upon this as an opportunity in life, rather than a closed door. This is a time when we can take control in our lives and plan the direction we want to go. It seems common for us to have given-up a dream or desire in life and this is the time to regain what we sacrificed. We cannot be pulled down by a divorce. We must consider it a place to be reborn; our own personal renaissance.
For those who have children, this can compound the stress of the situation and add an immense amount of guilt. Again, though, we must “count our blessings” and help our children do the same. It is integral that we do not insult our spouse, nor can we allow ourselves to exclude them from processing the divorce with our children. As within our own lives, a divorce can present children an opportunity for personal growth.
This is also a chance for us to strengthen our current relationships, rekindle those of our past and build new ones. In addition, we can also involve our children in these socializing efforts. There are innumerable benefits to exercising our kinships and friendships, especially during trying times. The experiences and advice of others can be invaluable for both parents and children.
In addition to calling on the strength of our loved ones to help ourselves and our children through a divorce, the expertise of those holding and participating in support groups can be a wonderful resource. Associating with these individuals provides us, not just with support, but also with knowledge and insight. These groups can also serve as the starting point for life-long friendships built upon a common bond.
In the trying times of divorce, we do have to accept the loss of our marriage; a relationship that is, no doubt, one of the most significant in an individual’s life. However, we must focus our attention on our children and the other relationships that are important to us. We must utilize this as an opportunity to see things from an optimistic perspective and start anew, cherishing those people who still exist in our lives and constructing fresh relationships to take on this journey with us.
Death – When To Allow Yourself To Move On
Losing a loved one is perhaps the hardest thing that anyone who is in love can experience; the loss not only leaves a giant hole in your life, but it affects your goals, your plans, and your direction for the future too. Well-meaning friends and family members may try to offer words of wisdom, or simply try to encourage you to start dating again by setting you up on blind dates. It is important, however, to listen to your own instincts and allow yourself to move on only when you are well and ready to do so.
Allowing Yourself To Grieve
By giving yourself the permission needed to cry, scream, feel anger and rage, you are allowing yourself to embrace the very natural feelings that accompany the loss of a loved one. If you do not accept that you will feel this way then you are very likely to either never find your way out of the black hole that grief has placed you into, or you are likely to see the grief manifest itself in other negative ways. Certainly, if you have small children, you must stand strong for them – but if you do not show them that it is okay to feel sad and that it is okay to cry then you are likely leading them down the path of potential behavior problems in the future.
The Passage Of Time
The cliché of “time heals all wounds” must not have been taking the loss of a loved one into consideration. No matter how much time has elapsed, chances are that you are always going to see, hear, and feel subtle reminders of your late partner. One of the primary key points to help yourself accept and manage these reminders is to try to focus on the warm memories that they bring with them; by focusing more on the happy memories and less on the feelings of loss, you may find that those subtle reminders bring a smile to your face instead of tears in your eyes and a pain in your heart.
There is no set time when it comes to the length of time that will be needed for you to feel that you are ready to step into the possibility of a new relationship. This is something that only you can decide.
- Do you feel ready to open your heart to a potential new love?
- Does your grief allow you the possibility of potentially sharing your bed with someone new?
It is vital that you, and only you, take the time needed to evaluate your life now and how it will be impacted by your decision to foray into the dating world again. If you have small children it may be necessary to place your focus, instead, on them and their abilities to cope with the loss in your family. Older children who have moved out of the home and have lives of their own should not be a deciding factor in your decision to start dating again – your decision to do so does not directly impact their day-to-day lives.
Working Wisely
Almost everybody has had a job at one point or another in their life. The vast majority of us will spend almost our entire adult lives working, making our choices about a career extremely important. Additionally, our attitude and performance at work have an array of impacts on the other elements of our lives. So, how do we make this important component of our existence one we enjoy, rather than one we dread?
It all starts in our childhood, when we truly believe that we can become anything we want. We fantasize about becoming a super hero, a ballerina or a movie star. As we age, we realize that these, indeed, are fantasy jobs and we must cope with the idea of having a “regular” job. If we are lucky enough to possess academic prowess and take our education seriously, we certainly have options that others will not with respect to career choices. In the end, though, it seems that we all must settle on a realistic career that is available and can sustain us.
Since we will spend so much of our time at our job, we must consider what type of job we will enjoy and be able to perform day after day, year after year. It is never a good idea to choose a job just because it pays well or gives us superiority, even though financial security and social standing are important aspects to consider. If we follow these rationale and spend each day completing tasks that disgust us, literally or in principle, it will affect us emotionally and mentally. Such distaste for our work will certainly mold us into miserable human beings.
It is also essential to choose work that provides us with some type of satisfaction. Performing menial work tasks gives us no positive feedback, making us dejected, unfulfilled individuals. A lot of people do not have to change the world in their work to find pleasure in it. Choosing a job that gives us a sense of accomplishment, whether from completing a big project or actually saving someone’s life, is refreshing and will help us to come back the next day and feel good about doing so.
Finally, we must have the ability to maintain a positive attitude about our work and believe that our contributions are important. Employees who begrudge everything about their jobs, even the tiles on the ceiling, will find themselves feeling the same way outside of work. We all have days when we feel negatively at our worksite, but it is necessary for us to find the positive in something about our job that day. We need to feel as though our work is a direct reflection upon ourselves and give as much effort as we would if we owned the company.
These simple ideas can mean a lot when it comes to rolling out of bed and heading-off to face our work day. Even if we dreamed of being a celebrity chef as a ten-year-old, we should still be able to find satisfaction in our position as a short-order cook. Finding the positives in our job will keep us charged for success and this positivity will spill-over into other areas of our lives. Feeling like a part of our employer’s mission and fulfilling our expectations will help us live happy and healthy lives, even if we are looking forward to retirement!
Hannah’s Story
Listen to Bruce talk about Hannah’s story. Learn how one simple request has changed their perspective on Christmas…..
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