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Planning For Death

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Taking the time to plan for your death may not sound like a really fun idea. Actually, some people may be really bothered by it. But, there are many benefits related to completing this process. This article will examine some of the reasons why someone may want to plan. It will also discuss a few of the things that people can do in order to prepare in advance for a life conclusion that is inevitable.
When people take the time to plan for death they will be helping their family members out in the end. Planning ahead will take a large burden off of the family members that will be left behind once you are gone. This may take a large financial burden off of them. They will also be able to relax because they will not have to worry about what you may have wanted. This means that they will be able to simply work through the grieving process.
Now, if you are planning on leaving any type of inheritance for your loved ones then you may want to plan ahead for this as well. This is very important because may individuals do not realize that their loved ones may need to pay taxes on what you leave for them. In order to avoid this, it is very important to plan ahead. There are many rules and laws surrounding inheritance taxes. Therefore, when family members plan ahead, and give gifts in advance, their loved ones may not need to pay taxes on these things.
If you make the decision to plan for your death you will want to start by planning your own funeral. This can give you piece of mind as well because you know that you will have exactly what you want. You can select the location of your burial, the music that will be played and even what you will wear. Many individuals will even select their casket and the flower arrangements that they will want at the funeral home.
For many, this may sound really morbid. For others, it is simply smart planning. This is a positive way to make sure that your family will be taken care of when you pass away. The bottom line is, everyone will die. If you have the opportunity to plan in advance then you will want to do that for your family. It shows that you care about them and you want them to be well cared for when you pass on.

Organised Living

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We like to feel comfortable in our own home. It is nice to think of our house as a haven, where we can take respite from the chaos of the outside world. It is important that we all have this view of our home, but we cannot do it alone. We must ask that the other members of our household take on some of the responsibility. This is the way to organized and healthy living for all of our family members, which results in a place of peace and calm.
One of the most important aspects of the organized home is the chore assignment posting. This chart will give each member of the household certain responsibilities that they must fulfill. To make the process of chore assignment fun, and to mix-in some variety, create a game of it. Each week, the family can gather to draw their chores from a bowl, answer trivia questions to determine in what order each person will choose their chores or play the chore lottery by matching numbers with corresponding chores. Then, simply post these chores on a dry erase board, cork board or on the refrigerator. In order to keep everyone motivated to complete their duties, use small weekly rewards or more significant monthly rewards.
Also important is a household schedule, which gives every member of the family a sense of security and predictability. These are essential, especially for children, to eliminate the anxiety associated with not knowing what will be happening in a given day. This schedule should not only include wake-up, meals and bedtime, but also provide delineation of private time, one-on-one time and family time. These periods of time can include activities such as homework, chores, games or dining out. Every member of the family will quickly recognize the benefits of this schedule, even though they may be resistant at first.
Finally, to have a truly peaceful and serene home environment, families must have household rules. These rules must be general enough to apply to everyone in the home, yet specific enough to achieve the purpose for setting them. As such, adults in the home must not exclude themselves from being held accountable for following these policies. Again, creating the regulations of the home should be a family activity in which everyone can take part. In doing this, each member of the household has a sense of ownership for the rules, thus they are more likely to follow them. Obviously, consequences for violations of the rules must also be established.
Establishing household rules, a family schedule and chore charts can have a significant impact on the overall quality of living within any family home. These three simple elements will provide each and every member of the family with the opportunity to view their home as a sanctuary, as well as providing them with a sense of responsibility for maintaining the serenity of the home. Such simple tasks can make a big difference!

Bullying – New Study and Tips to Help Kids Through It.

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Article by Justin Coulson.
See his Happy Families blog here or follow Justin's twitter.
More than two thirds of girls under the age of 10 are bullied, according to a study recently completed by the Girl Guides association of Australia.
Here is a frightening audio example of just how serious it can get.
According to a report in the SMH "68 per cent aged between five and nine reporting that that they had been bullied, many of them online. One fifth of those aged 10 to 14 had also experienced bullying and some 65 per cent said that reports in the media made them worry for their own safety."
The study pointed out the significant challenges associated with cyber-bullying and the use of mobile telephones.
Bullying and teasing occurs in every school yard (and many families) every single day.
Cruel remarks that are delivered to ridicule, taunt, embarrass, and make fun of a victim are common, and are unfortunately accepted as part of life. Parents need effective strategies to help their child overcome the mockery, and bounce back with a resilient mindset. The internet and mobile technology have enlarged the probability that your children will be involved, either as bully, or bullied.
Each case is unique, and should be treated accordingly. Below are three common mistakes parents make when dealing with children upset by teasing, and three simple strategies for providing a supportive environment that buffers your child from the harm teasing can cause. (It is important to note that if threats of serious harm are made, they should be taken seriously and acted on immediately. Intimidatory behaviour is never acceptable).
Mistake 1 – Dismissive Responding
“Oh get over it.”
“Well if you’re going to listen to that, or play with them, it’s your own fault.”
Children who are being teased, harrassed, or bullied will often come to parents for support. Parents who are dismissive are often trying to ‘harden up’ their child, but may reduce resilience by failing to provide needed support.
Mistake 2 – Retaliation
A nine year-old boy was told by his father, “If he’s mean to you again tomorrow, punch him in the nose”.
An eleven year-old girl was told by her mother, “You tell her she’s a rude little cow if she treats you like that again.”
While fighting fire with fire may seem logical in the heat of the moment, retaliation rarely resolves concerns in relationships. Clever comebacks only create an ongoing contentious spiral of teasing and hurt.
Mistake 3 – Ignore it and it Will Go Away
Passivity is unhelpful. Shrugging our shoulders, turning our back, or failing to address the issues will not meet the needs of our children. Ignoring our child’s plight will leave her feeling isolated, lonely, and questioning her value as a person.
Here are three strategies to use when your child is being teased:
1. Be Emotionally Available
Kids who have parents that are emotionally available are far more likely to have positive relationships with others (among a multitude of other benefits). Kids whose parents are not emotionally available are more likely to have negative relationships with others.
If your child is being teased, take time to simply be with him or her. Listen. Don’t offer advice. Just be there as an emotionally safe place.
2. Perspective Taking
Chloe and Lilly were best friends and in second grade. Lilly was crying because Chloe had hit her. After her mother took some time to be emotionally available, Lilly calmed down. Her mother asked why Chloe hit her. Lilly replied, “I don’t know.”
Her mother then said, “Let’s do a little experiment. I want you to pretend that you’re Chloe. Imagine I asked you, as Chloe, why you hit Lilly. What would you say to me if you were Chloe and I asked you that?”
Sheepishly Lilly replied, “That Lilly was teasing me about how she could see my undies.”
Through perspective taking, parents can gain insight into how their children feel. They can also develop the skill of perspective taking in their children to discover other important aspects of relationships in the school yard that their children may be less willing to share through typical questioning.
3. Strategise Together
When teasing is creating distress, children need parents who are available, and who want to help. But helping too much may not allow our children to develop important relationship skills. We may also undermine their decision making development.
It can be helpful to offer reassurance, and then invite your child to consider useful solutions. Often the answers are inside them, and will come out if they know we, as parents, are available to them.
Kindness, patience, and invitations to be friends are often far more effective in restoring friendship than aggressive practices, and as we strategies it will be useful to guide our children toward these types of mutually beneficial responses.

Carefully Managing Your Work Relationships

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With the amount of time that the average person spends in the office amongst their coworkers, it can be all too easy to allow the levels of professionalism drop to an unacceptable degree. While there is certainly nothing wrong with building and maintain a working friendship with the people that you work with, there are certainly limits that you should be aware of.
Keep It Clean & Professional
Unless your work environment is one that freely fosters the use of inappropriate language, then it is best to keep the words you use strictly to words that you could be comfortable saying in front of your grandmother! You definitely don’t want to be labeled as the dirty-mouthed person on the team, so it is always best to keep the cursing either to an appropriate minimum, or cut it out completely. The professional language that you use in the workplace will greatly reflect on the impressions that your coworkers and managers form about you.
Too Much Information!
It is certainly understandable to form a close friendship with some of people that you spend the better part of your waking hours with; however, you should ensure that the information you share with your professional friends is not something that could be used against you at a later point. You should stick to the idea of “TMI can really be TMI sometimes.” That may mean keeping the tales of your weekend exploits to a professional level and avoiding topics that can relate to personal hygiene or even be of an inappropriate sexual nature. It is understandable to have the desire to share great portions of your personal life with your work friends; however, you should always be acutely aware of the fact that it is in fact a work environment.
Conflict Resolution
There is little doubt that you will, at some point during your career, run into a situation with a coworker that requires a level of conflict resolution. It is important to understand and to realize that your reactions to the disagreements could reflect on your abilities to lead and potentially be promoted within the company; whether you handle the conflict with tact, professionalism and come to a suitable resolution, or you completely lose it and melt down – you need to understand the potential implications of your behavior. If it feels to you that you are unlikely to find a solution to the situation then you should give serious consideration to asking an HR representative or a supervising manager to step in and provide assistance.
Carefully cultivating working relationships with the people you spend time with at work is a great method of ensuring your day not only goes smoothly, but that you are able to interact with your coworkers on a more interpersonal level that will allow you to learn the best methods of successfully working with them. Just remember to keep things professional!